Calligraphy nibs and ink sit unused in a drawer. Tubes of watercolor paint and acrylics are hidden away in the disorganization of my craft cupboard. There are books I want to read and an itch to write more, projects I'd like to do and ideas to pursue and talents to cultivate.
And yet, these days, I find the majority of my hours disappearing as I attend to the many needs of two busy little people - playing and reading books and making lunch and potty training and cleaning up messes and breaking up fights and disciplining and the list goes on.
Inwardly I struggle because there are many at-home moms out there doing this and other amazing things - writing books and creating art and running small businesses or ministries.
I admire them and wonder if I'm just disorganized or lazy because my list of accomplishments at the end of a day is normally not very interesting or impressive.
But this morning as I sat with my coffee and had a bit of time to think and pray about my anxieties in this area, I found some clarity and peace. I'm to live before God and please Him, not to try and live up to what others are doing or expect or my own misinformed ideas.
Seasons come and go, and today I have a two year old and sixteen month old and a new baby due in two weeks. Looking at that realistically, and keeping in mind the priorities of spiritual disciplines and my calling as a wife and homemaker, perhaps it's okay that I'm not putting much energy into other endeavors these days.
I may find moments here and there to do something creative or dream a little, but today I'm remembering it's also okay (and even necessary) to say no to some things and embrace the simplicity of everyday tasks and routines, finding peace because right now, it's what I've been entrusted with.