Jul 29, 2015

On not doing more.

Calligraphy nibs and ink sit unused in a drawer. Tubes of watercolor paint and acrylics are hidden away in the disorganization of my craft cupboard. There are books I want to read and an itch to write more, projects I'd like to do and ideas to pursue and talents to cultivate.

And yet, these days, I find the majority of my hours disappearing as I attend to the many needs of two busy little people - playing and reading books and making lunch and potty training and cleaning up messes and breaking up fights and disciplining and the list goes on.

Inwardly I struggle because there are many at-home moms out there doing this and other amazing things -  writing books and creating art and running small businesses or ministries.

I admire them and wonder if I'm just disorganized or lazy because my list of accomplishments at the end of a day is normally not very interesting or impressive.

But this morning as I sat with my coffee and had a bit of time to think and pray about my anxieties in this area, I found some clarity and peace. I'm to live before God and please Him, not to try and live up to what others are doing or expect or my own misinformed ideas.

Seasons come and go, and today I have a two year old and sixteen month old and a new baby due in two weeks. Looking at that realistically,  and keeping in mind the priorities of spiritual disciplines and my calling as a wife and homemaker, perhaps it's okay that I'm not putting much energy into other endeavors these days.
 
I may find moments here and there to do something creative or dream a little, but today I'm remembering it's also okay (and even necessary) to say no to some things and embrace the simplicity of everyday tasks and routines, finding peace because right now, it's what I've been entrusted with.

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6 comments:

  1. Good for you! God gives us all different ways to live out our lives and too many people (ahem, women) compare to others!! We are the body and it works so differently yet individually beautiful! Our aim is to glorify and honour Him, regardless of the 'accomplishments' of others! You'll find the balance that each season brings, especially as you lean on Him and listen to His leading! If right now all you can focus on is the everyday and routine, then do it the best you can for Him and rest in Him. :) That's something I've been reminding myself of so much, the seasons things - just how they come and go and how short they really are! I know there is so much more I could be doing but is that the best, HIS best for me???

    PS- this is all a lie - I heard you made a pillow! ;) hahahahah!

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    1. Yes! Such a temptation to look at what others do (and especially online, we don't have the whole picture) and compare. And priorities are important to consider too - I might be able to carve out time for other things but if I haven't been in Scripture as much as I need to then I should probably be choosing that first! And the baby years fly by so quick - I've always been a person interested in lots of things but I want to really be present and enjoy the season we're in! Of course, this doesn't mean it's all I'll be doing for a while, just that if I feel overwhelmed it's perfectly okay to just focus on what's at hand! Thanks for your encouragement and that last line...it made me laugh! ;)

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  2. Yeah, I have been so sad about my art supplies lately. I keep waiting for that season when I get to do some of my projects. Usually I can't even get to the dishes. But even if I have to wait 20 years for an empty nest, it's not that long in the larger context. We'll blink and our kids will be grown, right? And then we'll wonder where the time went. I'm mostly okay with my current life, though I sometimes wish I could be a better friend. But again...it's a phase.

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    1. And babies and toddlers are a lot more hands on, so you may find more time in your schedule as David gets older!

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  3. One thing you are doing more of is writing! And I'm happy that you are! :)

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  4. Dear friend, just dropping by to give you a hug! This is the first time in months I had some time to sit and catch up on friends' blogs. O.o Perhaps it might comfort you to know that I am sitting in a very cluttered room, homeschool materials everywhere waiting to be organized, laundry still in the dryer, dishes in the sink, and feeling a lot of love and gratitude for you, a friend I look forward to meet, someday. <3

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