Apr 25, 2013

On mothering and having a servant's heart.


He is five months old now, personality becoming more apparent every day. A growing, squirming, drooling bundle that doesn't like to stay still and is anxious to discover this world around him. When he smiles or squeals with delight or grabs at my face with his little fingers I think there is nothing I would rather be doing than this, being mama to my little boy.

But moms, you know there are those other moments too, right?

Most days I love everything I am doing but sometimes discontentment creeps in. (I am convinced now that there is no life circumstance that can shelter you from this pervasive weed.)  There are days when I'm frustrated or discouraged or just plain tired, and my little one is needing, wanting...me. Again. I only have one child so I have the utmost respect for moms with more. But the lessons start small, a mercy no doubt.

One lesson is the putting of another's needs first, to serve - often without recognition.  Here, in this quiet moment with my hot mug of tea and space for my thoughts, I feel almost silly writing it. My little one is asleep upstairs and I think, being his mom is so easy, so rewarding. I just want to go upstairs and wake him up for a snuggle...almost!

But my journals tell the truth of a heart that is still so selfish. There are middle of the night feedings and afternoons when he won't nap and days when I really want to accomplish a lot of things and end up doing nothing but take care of him. But these things are all a part of the task God has given me, and He sees my heart in each testing moment. I can be doing the right thing but with an inward attitude that is not pure.

This is what has been on my mind lately - that I would be pleasing to God in this vocation He has graciously given me, that of wife and mother. In both the momentous and mundane.

Philippians 2 instructs us to follow Christ's example of humility and love - this Saviour who came to earth and emptied Himself, taking the form of a servant. We're told to do nothing from selfishness, but count others as more significant than ourselves.

How might these truths transform my mothering if I meditate on them and apply them directly to the way I interact with and care for my child each day? I am thinking to the future here, as he grows and I have more opportunities to live this out, but I know it starts now.

Recognizing my need to be transformed, seeing my example in Christ, and going forward by His grace, one imperfect step at a time.


*edit*  This morning I came across a message from Revive our Hearts that fits well with my thoughts here: Seven Snapshots. I was humbled as I listened and thought of the ways that Christ was a servant while He walked this earth. I encourage you to listen if you get a chance!

9 comments:

  1. There are so many lessons motherhood will teach you! :) Yes, living each day, serving others is only truly possible under Christ - it's a blessing and a struggle! Nothing can truly prepare you for this roll - but God will help you, He is soo good to us mothers! :D


    ...wait a minute...QUIET moment with space for YOUR thoughts...what's that??? ;) lol!!!

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  2. Yes, He is good!

    Quiet moments Do come...when they're in bed! The challenge is to use them well!

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  3. Yeah, I can relate. I do miss my little guy somewhat, when he's asleep. And yet, what a relief for him to be asleep. I can sit here and blog :) On my way to wash the dishes, of course.

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  4. Oh friend, I can relate in so many ways. I remember thinking "If only I could have a child, and be a mother...I would be so fulfilled in life." Yes that is true. It has given me a purpose that I never felt before and often struggled with. Contentment. It is so difficult to be content with our current vocation when we would like to be busy with other things. I thought this would be easier as he grows older but yet it seems to be much more difficult as he is quite mobile these days. Crawling a day after he turned 11 months, now pulling up and cruising. I turn around and he's at the stairs or clinging to me with pain in his mouth from molars crushing through his tiny gums. There are days when I'm still in my pajamas far longer than I'd like to admit. This sweet boy has rocked my world in so many ways and his first year of life was definitely the hardest of my life thus far - with a difficult ending to my pregnancy and then a hard time with recovery. Whew.

    So I totally didn't mean to write such a blog post here! Lol. P.S. I've made a new blog - I just can't stay away! :) http://soverycharming.blogspot.com/

    Jessica

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    1. Thanks for relating Jessica :) Is Riley a year old already? And I'm with you on the p.j's thing - I mean if you're going to be home for long periods of time anyway why not just be comfy? hehe. And thanks for letting me know your new site address!

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  5. Thank you for your honesty, I enjoy learning from you.

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    1. I appreciate that, Julie, thank you! I do want to be honest because it's other honest writers (like yourself) that I learn the most from and am encouraged by.

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  6. This is beautiful! I love your blog :)
    I so appreciate your honesty. It's good to know I'm not alone in these feelings - I'm learning to take it one day at a time!

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    1. Thank you so much Rachel! It's nice to hear from other moms that identify with the same things.

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