May 17, 2012

Moving On


Tonight I am surrounded by boxes and stacks of belongings, beginning to pack up our home.

The balcony door is open and a cool evening breeze blows in, carrying with it the sounds of traffic and the city below us. It used to be noise to me, foreign and annoying when I was trying to read or concentrate. Now it's just the soundtrack for a cozy evening at home, hardly noticed unless I stop to think of it. Funny how you adjust.



























Soon the windows will be open on a cool summer evening at our new home, no hush of traffic on the quiet residential street we've chosen. Perhaps children playing on the street or a jogger going by, or neighbors in their yard.  Change.




I am excited, but feeling very much that this is the closing of a chapter, one that's been incredibly new and sweet in many ways. I remember last June before our wedding, we had our apartment but weren't living in it yet. I would drive up from the city I was living in with a car stuffed full of my belongings and wedding shower gifts - pots and pans, decorative things, tablecloths and kitchenware, curtains and a bed set. I cleaned our apartment, inch by inch. Arranged and re-arranged cupboards, filled shelves and thought out the best furniture arrangements. Taking a humble little place and making it into a home, anxious for the day we would enter it as husband and wife and begin our life together.

And now, suddenly,we have ten months of marriage behind us, many firsts and many memories: staying up late, just talking. Reading together, and praying before going to sleep every night (thanks to my husband). Making special dinners, celebrating milestones. Having friends in. Having arguments and learning to humble ourselves and confess sin, to forgive. Going for walks, or late night runs for an ice cream or hamburger. Being crazy and acting like kids (we may or may not occasionally play tag in the circle through the kitchen and back out to the living room).




Growing more in love and more into the oneness that God designed for us to have.




And now we are just two weeks away from leaving this apartment empty, locking the door behind us. I've been feeling so sentimental, as if leaving this place means leaving this whole beautiful chapter of new married life behind us. As if we're moving towards bigger responsibilities (wait, with a baby due this fall, I guess we are!) and that this is the beginning of growing old, of time moving too fast.

Melodramatic, I know.  But the changes ahead have caused me to reflect a little on the brevity of life, reminded me not to focus so intensely on my earthly treasures or happiness, even if those things are good and gifts from the Lord - my husband, our marriage, the blessing of a baby coming. I want our life to slow down and stand still, as I know I will when I have our newborn in my arms.

But it won't stand still; each new stage seems to slip by in a moment. Rather than letting that fact cause me anxiety or sadness though, I need to remember what lies ahead at the end of it all. There is more joy coming, more beauty - more than we can ever experience in this lifetime.


And it will last forever.








10 comments:

  1. Live in the moment, girlie. It does go fast, way to fast, but each stage is new and wonderful and it is the eyes you look at it with that make the difference. Each day is a blessing from God and made to be used wisely. You pregnant ladies are way too sentimental ;) Love, Mom

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  2. Amen Steph! Time goes so fast but our eternal home is just that, eternal! So many 'new' and 'changes' ahead for the two of you - but all wonderful! I look forward to all God is doing and brining into your lives! ♥

    I LOVE that last photo there of the city view from your apartment!!!! Maybe a good one to enlarge and hang in your new home, a little reminder/token of Chapter one! :D

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  3. This is a beautiful reflection!

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  4. Aw, Steph, this is so sweet. I'm happy for you! Keep living with your eyes wide open. God has such beautiful things yet to come. Love you!

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  5. Stephanie - This reminds me a lot about what I've thinking about lately, as I'm at a similar crossroads in some ways, the end of one chapter, the beginning of another.

    I am thankful that we always have eternity to reflect on, and on which to let our hearts rest. Our hearts long for those things that only eternity will finally give us: perfect stillness, perfect belonging, perfect rest. I've been thinking about how I am so thankful that my earthly, physical possessions or earthly life are not all I have to hope in...my eternal life is secure. This stuff I'm packing up... it's just stuff!

    I am planning to be in Ontario this summer (and may see Kendra) and I was thinking, "it would be neat to meet Stephanie!" :) You have become special to me - I appreciate your heart. Wishing you God's best as you transition.

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    1. Thank you Julie! I've loved following your writings and appreciate you as well. It's a really neat thing how the fellowship of believers can happen even through online interactions. :) Let me know if you end up being in the area or do go to see Kendra this summer, perhaps I could make the road trip to spend some time with you both!

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  6. Really sweet photos! I feel like we're living parallel lives because we just bought a home, too, and moved out of our newlywed apartment. Our baby is due in just 7-8 weeks though and I already miss it being just the 2 of us and the intimacy of living in a 1-rm apartment together. I don't regret being pregnant the first year of marriage, though. It helped us grow closer and appreciate each other in a new way.

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    1. Yes, we do have a lot of similarities! I didn't know you were due so soon, exciting!! I appreciate hearing of other couples that see pregnancy in the first year of marriage as a good thing, a blessing - I know of so many who hold off a long time for various reasons, so it's refreshing to know of couples with the same mind set as us. I'm only 3 1/2 months along but I know what you mean about this time bringing you closer in a new way.

      Blessings to you in the final weeks of your pregnancy Elizabeth!

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  7. Enjoy your time together! When baby first arrives you may not see each other for a while. :) Thankfully Riley seems to be settling into longer naps = one relieved mama. We did shifts. I'd like to recommend a Moby Wrap. They're awesome.

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  8. What a lovely testimony. God is really with us in every season!

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