Oct 8, 2011

On pause














(Photo Credit
)

Getting married in July brought change.

I moved on from the job I had been in for the last three years. (My own business and entire client base.) I moved away from living with family, which has been a constant for all but one of my twenty-six years. I went from living outside a relatively small town to Canada's capital city. From a big home on a rural lot to a little apartment off a buzzing street. A different church, now. And of course, all the little changes that come with joining your life with another in marriage.

I plunged in with no regrets - because what is there to regret when your beloved enters the scene of your quiet life and invites you to journey with him into the unknown, together? What's a job and family close by and the familiar things that make up your life compared to that?

And true to what many told me, this adventure has been much much better than I could have thought, and also difficult in some little ways I wasn't expecting. (But even those things are good because they are about growing as a person, and even growing a deeper love for each other.)

I think I'm really just beginning to settle into this new life. The wow of "I just got married!" is starting to wear off. (But not the wow and newness of "I love this husband of mine so much!" which hopefully does not wear off, but only deepens...)


And with the settling in, I've been thinking quite a bit lately about what these days should look like for me, in this season of our lives. Mostly because some things have not followed the pattern that I assumed. For one, I thought I could start my business here and wouldn't have a problem gaining new clients quite soon. Or that, even if it did take some time, I could easily pick up a part time job somewhere to help pay bills or put some savings away. And since Loris and I are both open to children whenever God blesses us in that way (and are not embarrassed to state this) I thought we easily might be among those increasingly rare individuals who find out they are to be future parents soon after the honeymoon!

But here we are, I without work and no baby on the way. And I really am okay with both of these things right now - I think I've just been in a period of realizing - or remembering, it seems to be a lesson I must learn again and again - that I don't write the script for my life.

And with this on my heart lately, I've been thinking. (In between applying for jobs and keeping a home and running errands and spending time at my mother-in-laws and visiting with family when I can and trying to make reading and studying a priority and all the other things that make up my life right now...)

Thinking about how best to use this season, and what the Lord would have me do with the extra time that I do have right now. I have different ideas, but I want to be led by the Spirit and not my own tendencies to just be busy and accomplish things, which are really led by pride.

So that is a lengthy update on where I'm at right now. I'm so thankful to have a husband who is wise and often knows just what to say or how to encourage me. That has been so helpful for me, but your prayers would be appreciated also.

Meanwhile, I am loving this life God has given me and am so blessed by many, many things. Much to be thankful for as we (in Canada) prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving this weekend!

7 comments:

  1. Steph, I love your beautiful heart! You honor Him with your heart, life, and plans. Your desire to use your extra time for His glory and to be doing the things that God would have you to is such challenge to me. Thank you for being a beautiful example of a woman who honors the Lord with her life! You are a true example of a Proverbs 31 woman. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you for your kind words, Jen. These things are definitely what I desire to strive for - but only because of Christ, who Has put the desires within me. Without Him, I would be giving in to selfishness and doing what pleases me most of the time. Which is still a struggle - I have a long way to go :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I too struggled with learning to accept this particular season of my life. It was a break for me. A break I wasn't used to nor expecting. Now that you've written this, I'm thinking of doing a similar post! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank you for your sweet comment! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I appreciate your openness, Stephanie! I did the opposite and started working AFTER the wedding...I had taken a break during the preparations. Sometimes I think about how I just want to be HOME, making everything cozy and healthy and good-tasting for my husband. But instead things are quite hectic and I feel like everything is rushed and sloppy, even though my husband says it's fine. I try to remind myself that a baby could come along in the next year, and that I might be longing for my old life soon enough! So I appreciate the reminder to use whatever SEASON you're in. Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Stephanie!

    Your new blog is lovely! I thought this quote would be an encouragement for this season: http://ladyakofa.blogspot.com/2011/10/lifting-your-heart-to-god-in-wait.html

    Blessings,
    Akofa.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for your encouragement, Stephanie! Praying God gives you grace for this season, as I'm sure He will.

    ReplyDelete